How many times do I have to say this?

Okay, here it is again. If you use any form of the phrase: "my ______ are/is more ______ than your ______" (as in "my friends are cooler than your friends"/"my friends look cooler drunk than your friends"/"my friends are more into self-congratulatory rubbish than your friends") you totally suck. Sorry, it's just a fact. Does this country really have a self-esteem problem so big that we insist on torturing others by speaking in such a disgusting manner? Hearing someone say that their ___ is more ____ than mine does not make me think they're cool, it makes me go "ew" and want to get far away from them where I will undoubtedly mock them. Saying your ___ is more ___ than whoever else's is unfortunately not going to win you pop culture immortality. I think Paris Hilton secretly created this phrase.

If you want to know the depths to which these depraved morons will reach, just look to google image. There are 233 matches for the phrase "my friends are cooler than your friends." Why don't we check out this parade of friends that are cooler than your's right now:



Uh..yeah.