New Drinkers of the World Unite and Bend Over...so I can kick you in the behind
General message to new/newish drinkers:
Look, if you are over 22 years of age, I do not want to hear any "fantastic" drinking stories from you--even if you didn't start drinking until you were older-no dice. It's irritating and you take too many pictures of you holding a drink to prove you do it or something. Honestly, I assume everyone drinks at least occasionally so don't think you have to reassure me of your drinking status. As a nation, I have no idea what the percentage of drinkers is to non, but at the rate beer companies advertise...I think we can assume it's at least 60%. There is nothing very original about consuming alcohol, so don't make it the prime component in the presentation of yourself to other people! Also, drinkers, I do not believe that drinking is to be used as an excuse for the ridiculous things you do, unless they're falling down or hitting a telephone pole with your car. It's not acceptable to say certain things or do sexual things and then blame it on alcohol. That is an excuse. Your subconscious took over and you did exactly what you wanted to do, but don't want to admit to.
p.s. However, I am always down for drinking and vomiting stories.
posted by Tami @ 6:54 AM
1 Comments:
This one time, I drank like 2 of these drinks called "Long Island Ice Tea," which I swear are PACKED with alcohol. They're almost as good as this other drink I had this other time called a "Irish Car Bomb." I mean, I ALWAYS drink those, not just that one time. Sometimes, when I'm standing in line with my friends at the MVA, we get into these great conversations about our favorite drunk times...you know, the craziest, must fucked up times when we've been drunk, and we laugh and laugh and laugh. And then we sigh, AHHHHH. Well, anyway, this one time I drank 2, no wait, 3 of those "Long Island Ice Teas," and there was hardly any ice in them at all. I think the bartender really hooked me up, because I couldn't taste any of the tea at all. Anyhow, I got really drunk, and then I fell over, and I don't really remember it, but I think I had sex with this guy with a really unique tribal tatoo who's studying Glass Blowing, has a funny skin tag under his balls, and moans really strange when he orgasms. I don't really remember anything about him, but Jenny says I went into the mens room with him. Oh the things we do when we get really really drunk.
Post a Comment
<< Home